How does one engage in self-destructive behaviour?By simply becoming indifferent.Indifferent to the rewards.Indifferent to the punishments.Indifferent to the world.One cares about immediate gratification and nothing else.One cares about himself and no one else.In other words,one simply stops caring about life.
Do I want to become successful?Yes.
Do I want to make a lot of money and live in luxury?Yes.
Do I want to make the most of my life?Yes.
Do I like my life now?No.
Do I like myself?Sometimes.
Do I wish my life would be totally different?Who doesn't?
Do I want to be a good man right now?I want to,but I don't want to at the same time.
Do I wish for death?No.
Do I wish for punishment?No
Do I feel that Hell might be better than Heaven?In different ways,yes.
Do I believe in a Heaven or a Hell?I would say no.
Atheism is a funny thing.One ceases to believe in religion.One ceases to believe on God.One ceases to believe in the idea of Heaven.One ceases to believe in damnation for your sins.
This is where an Atheist's direction deviates.One could be good for the sake of being good,although one could argue that he's just being good because society expects one to be good.One could also do whatever he pleases as he is free from the ideals of religion.That includes doing wrong things.Drugs,sex,violence.It just doesn't seem "bad".What a man's idea of "Good" and "Evil" is,is whatever society tells him is "Good" and "Evil".One doesn't always make a decision for himself.What society thinks largely depends on what their religion tells them is right and wrong.In Asian culture,one respects his elders,and reveres their parents.Most of the time a man lives with his parents under the same roof,or lives close by.To an Asian man,his parents are God.They gave him life.
I'm not a typical Asian.I am petulant enough to disrespect my parents.However,I do share one similarity with typical Asians with regards to my parents.I think of my father,or at least my impression of my father,as God.It's like what Tyler Durden says in Fight Club.We base our God on our fathers.If our fathers were abusive,what does that say about God?If our fathers were absent,what does that say about God?
You know what,fuck God.He's never done anything for me.I've never had to grovel and beg for his mercy.I've never ridden on his fortune.I've never faced his wrath.I do not fear his wrath.I fear no God.
However,I do fear my father's wrath.
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